This is reality TV and I’ve seen my fair share of petty fighting over the years. Everything from line-cutting to rice hoarding has been the subject of the drama-filled outbursts, but I do believe this is first. Team Divorcees alleged that Team Spartans had knocked their sports bra off a ledge.
And we all know how important a sports bra is. Personally, I think it was some production assistant trying to cater to the male demographic by having Team Divorcees compete sans bra.
And after seeing the bumpy, cobble-stone bike ride, my conspiracy theory holds stronger than ever.
After that we listened to Team Geek talk about how they considered themselves to be smarter than the other teams. And that their biggest competitive advantage was their brains. Folks, that’s called irony and foreshadowing.
Just thought I’d stretch my arcane English lit skills.
Teams must fly to La Paz, Bolivia. Hmm…it seems like this location is familiar to me and I just can’t place my finger on it. Could it be that Amazing Race is recycling destinations? Was La Paz on The Mole? Bonus points for anyone who can remind my why La Paz sounds so familiar.
Team Superbad is a team of great contradictions. They claim that they are not the most athletic team out there, but they think they’re pretty sexy. Well, someone has to, right?
The Blondes, on the other hand, can’t figure out why everyone underestimates them, despite finishing each leg in second to last place. Yep, I can’t figure that one out either. It must be a blonde thing.
There’s a first in Amazing Race history. There was absolutely no airport drama to see. No line cutting, no lemmings going the wrong way, no real taxi issues. I guess it helps that they are simply rushing to go campout at the statue to await the morning newspapers.
I thought it was a nice touch by Phil and the gang to have those local women pass out blankets to the teams. I guess it’s not only high altitude, but cold in Bolivia. The blondes quipped, “the ground is hard.” Yeah, I still can’t figure out why everyone is underestimating you gals!
The morning comes and we see vanity at its greatest. Team Divorcess and Team Blondes are busy putting on their makeup. Oh, and don’t forget that Nick from Team Spartans was getting a fresh shave.
Whatever happened to the credo, “There’s no makeup on the Amazing Race?”
The clue is in the classified section of the newspaper. It’s always in the classifieds, but none of the teams ever seem to figure this out. Team Superbad is the newspaper king and they are off to buy their hat.
In another case of foreshadowing, we see that the Geeks aren’t handling the high altitude so well. Perhaps they should’ve read one less copy of Action Comics and hit the treadmill. But who am I to criticize?
Understandably, the Blondes are the last ones to figure out the classified ads clue. And yet, they still have no clue as to why no one gives them any respect.
Time for the detour. Musical March or Bumpy Ride. In Musical March, teams have to lead a bunch of dysfunctional band members across La Paz. In Bumpy Ride, teams have to put their lives on the line while riding these rickety hand-carved bikes through the narrow by-ways and alleys of La Paz.
Danger Wil Robinson! Danger! There’s a U-turn ahead! Which is just an excuse for CBS to ramp up the suspense although we all know that none of the teams are smart enough to use it.
The Amazing Race isn’t about making friends, it’s about “winning the game,” to steal a quote from War Games. You only have one shot at it, so I would U-turn if I had the chance. You might not be around to use it next time.
Teams head out to their detours. The Blondes and Team Superbad decide to get the band back together, while the rest of the teams choose to feel the power of man-made hogs between their legs.
Uh-oh, Team Geeks and Team Newly Dating didn’t read the rules properly and took taxis to the detour. Team Newly Dating discovered their error quickly and backtracked to the hat store. Team Geeks did not.
Gee, do you have hit us over the head so flagrantly with that foreshadowing again? We get it. The Geeks shall not inherit the Race.
While watching the riders on the bikes, I began to wonder what function the feathers possible served, other than to make them look utterly ridiculous of course. Oh wait, there it is. They provide extra padding for when teams wipeout. Team Divorcees bite the pavement for the first time. (Yes, that’s my own little foreshadowing for ya!)
Team Playa and Team Geeks are the first to finish their bike ride of death and learn that they have to travel by taxi to a wrestling ring for the Roadblock, fight a girl.
Ken is such a testosterone freak. He runs into the arena looking for any man to fight. He runs right by the women a few different times before he finally figures it out. He almost looks a little dejected.
Back at the bike ride of death, we’ve got blood! Team Divorcees takes a nasty header into some random passing building. I totally thought she was down for the count. Short of them failing to stop at an intersection and getting plowed by a bus, this was as nasty of a hit that we could’ve hoped for.
But she must be a hockey player, because she shook it off like a champ and continued on their way.
Further down the hill, Team Spartans were plotting to take the bra-ha-ha to the next level by convincing Team Go Blue to U-turn Team Divorcees. To be fair, I don’t think Team Spartans was trying to get Team Go Blue to do their dirty work.
I think they were asking them to U-turn Team Divorcees if Team Go Blue got to the U-turn first. I thoroughly expected Team Spartans to drive that knife in Team Divorcees’ sports bras with a U-turn, but alas no one used the best tool on the Race.
At the Roadblock, most teams got through the wrestling act with ease. That is most everyone by Team Geeks. And to think that they should have felt at home with their spandex and cape.
Poor Mark was so inept that he couldn’t get the routine right and he ended up wasting valuable time sucking on the business end of an oxygen tank. And remember they didn’t have any time to play with, but they haven’t figured that out yet.
One by one, each team passed Team Geek (who arrived at the Roadblock in third place) with the exception of Team Divorcees who had almost accepted their fate.
That included Team Newly Dating who couldn’t get anything right the first time on this day. Not only did they use a taxi at the Detour, but they stopped at some random soccer game because there was a red and yellow flag there. Wow!
On their way to pitstop, Team Geeks finally read their clue and realized that they were screwed. They got to the check-in before Team Divorcees, but they had to serve a 30 minute penalty.
It’s a good thing that Team Divorcees didn’t stop and apply a fresh coat of makeup before their big sendoff because they may have given Team Geeks enough time to survive their mistake. In the end, their advantage of being smart turned into their downfall when they didn’t properly read the clue and took a taxi to the Detour.
Team Divorcees lives to primp another day. At the front of the pack, Team Playa won their second leg in a row and they look to be a fierce competitive team that will be there at the end.
Surprisingly, Team Blondes came in fourth place. Perhaps we can finally stop underestimating them…. NAH!